Transitions

If someone would have told me when I first started college that when I graduated, I'd be heading into one of the worst economies our country has seen since before Bill Clinton, gas would be heading towards the $5 mark, I would have no real applicable skills going into the work force and would not be able to get a job that pays enough to rent my own apartment, and I'd be living in California...with my parents...in a ranch town full of drug pushers and alcoholics obsessed with Ultimate Fighting, I'd have said that person was crazy and none of those things would possibly happen to me, an intelligent, beautiful white girl with her whole life ahead of her.

Alas, here I am, existing as an unemployed, entry-level post-grad living with her parents in a town consisting of stoned high school kids, neighbors so close you can practically hear them breath. Is this where I thought I would be? Probably not. To be honest, I imagined myself walking off the stage at the Academy Awards with an Oscar in hand, wavely and smiling dutifully and thankfully at my adoring fans, then heading to the after party at PDiddy's place, or wherever they have those parties--SEE? I don't even know where they party!

But I guess it's not that bad, living off my parents, with no job, no friends, and no life...other than searching for jobs and friends. I mean, I have my own bathroom, which hasn't happened in...well, EVER, and I have a huge, beautiful pool pretty much all to myself, a splendid little hot tub that really hits the spot anytime after 9, and sunshine every single day.

I guess my point is, transition is always difficult. Heck, the word itself is kind of difficult, all built out of what I think are technical, basic sounds. Whether you're transitioning between jobs, houses, relationships, it doesn't matter. The reasons and effects are always different but the underlying theme remains the same, that in order to grow, change, move on, move up, move down, there has to be a difficulty, an obstacle (or many, in some cases) that one needs to cross in order for the transition period to be over.

That's where I'm at: my difficulty--difficulty getting a job, difficulty deciding WHAT it is I want to do exactly, difficulty leaving my parents, difficulty STAYING with my parents. They're all obstacles that are getting in the way of whatever is on the other side.

Luckily, I don't know what lies at the other end, either success or failure, so I don't really have much to lose at this point. Maybe that's the difficulty of it all. All I have to do is keep overcoming these obstacles and I'll find out what it is I'm working for (no pun intended).