My Histerical Father

Oh, just a random convo I had with my dad today, edited for readability (Toby) *HUGS*. I think this is the first time he's ever used Google Chat. I love my dad and he makes me laugh a lot. Today, I share this laughter with you! Enjoy.



greg: is this what you do most of the day, talk on Goog IM?
I am now in a health club. They have a 50 meter outdoor pool. Every tech workout thingy you can imagine.

me: this dude just came in (the celeb that's doing voiceover work) and I didn't realize it was someone I didn't know cuz he was with this girl Kim who I work with, so I just greeted him like I would everyone else that works here - with a BIG "HI!" and I think he was taken aback by it
greg: you terrified him!
greg: must be faggy
me: oh dad.....
greg: hehe
sad but true
me: it's a possibility
greg: unremote
I guess texting can be better than the phone! You can say really big words!
and not be scorned for it

me: OH I signed up for benefits last night!
greg: haha, benefits
The only one that matters any more is the health insurance
even dental ins sucks
greg: if you are around for a while they will probably add a pension benefit, but maybe not the world is changing so fast
me: they offer a 401K...is that what you mean
greg: do they contribute?
me: I'm pretty sure
greg: well, then that's better than a stick in the eye, for sure
LOL texting is fun!
this is like a chat room
I know, it's not really "texting"
which is cell phone based
where the keypad is made for smaller midgets

me: dad, you are toooo funny
texting is fun
you can have an entire conversation without ever making any REAL emotional connections as well as censor what you say
greg: you can also fart loudly in the middle of a conversation and no one knows it
me: LOL
greg: yea, well, I get paid to be funny
like Carlin
only less pay
greg: much less
but he's dead, so who won?
me: i get paid to be nice to people
greg: gotta love being paid to be nice
that is really HARD work
greg: I HATE being nice.
It makes me constipated
me: lol
greg: I wish I had laser guns installed next to my car's headlights.


greg: we might have found a car for gus
me: he has a license???
greg: haha, no license yet
a 1994 Toyota Camry
well, it has a great body, but the brain is a bit snaggled, like a girl I used to know
me: LOL
greg: he could put REverb into it
that's what we had before stereo

me: that dude just asked me where the bathroom is
I apologized for pouncing on him earlier
greg: is he worth pouncing on?
me: he reads gay to me
but possibly
greg: told ya
greg: I can tell from 200 miles away
greg: my gay meter read 100%
yea, I had a gay black guy on my train ride up to Paso when I got here
When I mentioned SF, his ears really perked up
me: omg
dad
greg: I mean, I was sitting next to him!
LOL
me: hahahahaha
greg: OMFG
me: LOL



(This followed with a 10-minute span of my dad telling me to google things like "katy is a big" or "la sucks" etc.)